***
Gospel: Matthew 14: 22-33
After he had fed the people, Jesus made the disciples get into a boat
and precede him to the other side,
while he dismissed the crowds.
After doing so, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray.
When it was evening he was there alone.
Meanwhile the boat, already a few miles offshore,
was being tossed about by the waves, for the wind was against it.
During the fourth watch of the night,
he came toward them walking on the sea.
When the disciples saw him walking on the sea they were terrified.
“It is a ghost,” they said, and they cried out in fear.
At once Jesus spoke to them, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.”
Peter said to him in reply,
“Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.”
He said, “Come.”
Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus.
But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened;
and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught Peter,
and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
After they got into the boat, the wind died down.
Those who were in the boat did him homage, saying,
“Truly, you are the Son of God.”
The Gospel of the Lord.
***
***
Once again, Saint Peter finds himself in a terribly uncomfortable situation.
Imagine the wind whipping his hair into his eyes and beads of rain pelting his skin as he and the others fight for their lives in what must’ve felt like the storm of the century.
Wiping his face, Peter spots a luminous figure approaching him on the water, piercing the night. “Is it the ghost of death?” He might’ve wondered.
No, it’s the Lord, who summons him with the word, “Come.”
Swinging his legs over the side of the boat, Peter’s feet land on choppy waters as he draws a deep breath in and stands up straight.
Like a baby taking its first steps, Peter wobbles forward in joyful wonder, finding – if only for a moment – newfound freedom, allowing his feet to take him where his mind and heart yearned to be.
Out onto the open water, closer and closer to Jesus.
It’s only after Peter surveys the scene: white capped waves swelling around him, wind screaming in his ears, the other disciples watching, and Jesus staring at him that his mind begins to race and he sinks.
***
What enabled Peter to walk on water? How did he defy gravity? God’s grace had a lot to do with it. But also consider the movement of his body, which physically and spiritually speaking, unlocks the mystery.
Did Peter dive headfirst into the water? No. Did he get a running start, leaping over the edge, landing with a bellyflop? A backflip? Or a cannonball? No.
He stepped out onto the water feet first, leaving us an example to follow.
Gravity was not the cause of his downfall – nor is it the cause of our own.
It was that calculating, rationalizing, fear-inciting, Doubting Thomas part of his mind that convinced him that he was unable to walk any further, that he was unsafe, and that he was about to drown.
Ironically enough, it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
How often are we like Peter? How often does fear cause us to sink, drawing us away from God?
***
As the waters begin to swallow him whole, Jesus seizes Peter by the collar, sending him back into the boat and into the company of the disciples.
I’d imagine Peter gasping for air, traumatized, fidgeting like a fish out of water. And instead of offering an affirming word or a pat on his back, giving him an “A” for effort, Jesus rebukes Peter, saying, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
The whole scene can leave us dumbfounded. Peter just did what no other human being has ever done! How is that not pleasing to the Lord?
I don’t think Jesus was upset. Perhaps a little disappointed, because Peter just discovered the pearl of great price, the difference it makes when the Lord is our focal point, not the wind or the waves enveloping us.
But then he let the pearl of faith go, allowing fear to overtake him.
***
Could this story have turned out any other way?
Could Peter have flipped out of the boat and landed victoriously next to Jesus? Could his surprise landing have inspired the other disciples to follow suit?
Perhaps.
But such a story would have little to do with us. The truth is, we’re all like Peter. We do have faith in Jesus. We do make ourselves vulnerable, we do take risks, we do throw our legs over the boat at Christ’s command, trying our best to walk on water.
But every so often, we begin to sink and we cry out as Peter did, “Lord save me!” Not from a lack of effort, or because of watered-down faith, but because we’re merely human.
***
For example, we lose our job and pray we’ll find another. We step out in faith as we start eating into our savings to keep the bills paid, patiently trusting that the right door will open. But when it doesn’t – at least not right away – we start to panic and sink.
Or we try stepping out onto the waters of sobriety, of forgiveness, of truth-telling, or goodwill. We get our feet wet, but the waves rise with every step, leaving us an uphill climb.
Or we receive bad news from the doctor and pray for a miracle. Our spirits start high, but as our health declines, so does our spirit.
The truth is, faith and fear often co-exist within us. We are lifted up by one, but weighed down by the other, like a buoy bobbing in the sea.
***
But here we find the beauty of today’s Gospel. Peter reminds us that faith can inspire us to be bold, trying what seems to be impossible. And if we fall along the way, Jesus is there to lift us up. A few small steps towards him are far better than never trying at all.
And, most importantly, Peter shows the supreme way of following the Lord:
Always feet first, allowing our mind and heart to follow.
As we step out onto the water once again this week, may we keep our focus on Him, “whom even the wind and the seas obey.”
***
***
Image credits: (1) The Storm on the Sea of Galilee, Rembrandt (2) Peter Walks on Water, Philip Otto Runge, 1806 (3) Altus Fine Art