Why do we do what we hate?

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Romans: 7: 18-25

Brothers and sisters:
I know that good does not dwell in me, that is, in my flesh.
The willing is ready at hand, but doing the good is not.
For I do not do the good I want,
but I do the evil I do not want.
Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it,
but sin that dwells in me.
So, then, I discover the principle
that when I want to do right, evil is at hand.
For I take delight in the law of God, in my inner self,
but I see in my members another principle
at war with the law of my mind,
taking me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.
Miserable one that I am!
Who will deliver me from this mortal body?
Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

The Word of the Lord.

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I was once a pen pal with a young man serving a prison sentence. In his heart of hearts, he was a good man. I knew him long before he got into trouble. But one thing led to another, and eventually he found himself behind bars.

While there, he started reading the bible and was overcome when he came across Saint Paul’s confession from our first reading, his Letter to the Romans: “I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want.”

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Paul, a man we revere as a Saint, was torn between his flesh and his spirit. He knew what was right and wanted to do it always; yet, at times, he failed. He knew what was wrong and longed to avoid it; but, at times, he gave in.

Whatever his struggle was, it haunted him. Paul experienced what we all experience – attraction to and hatred for our sins. 

If knowledge of the truth alone were strong enough to guide our actions, then life would be easy. We’d all be saints! But we need more than knowledge; we also need grace. 

We will only experience true and lasting freedom when Christ has full command of our heart.

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So, where do I experience this tension in my life? When do I do what I “hate”?

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Jesus does not come to judge or condemn us. Rather, he comes to forgive, to heal, to inspire, and to change us.

May we be patient with ourselves – and others – as we merge evermore with Christ. As Paul himself prayed, “May God who has begun this good work within you bring it to fulfillment.” 

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Image credits: (1) Saylorville Church (2) Borivali Assembly (3) FreePik

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