What is love? How do we give and receive it?

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Gospel: Mark 12: 28-34

One of the scribes came to Jesus and asked him,
“Which is the first of all the commandments?” 
Jesus replied, “The first is this:
Hear, O Israel!
The Lord our God is Lord alone!
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,
with all your soul, 
with all your mind,
and with all your strength.
The second is this:
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
There is no other commandment greater than these.” 
The scribe said to him, “Well said, teacher.
You are right in saying,
‘He is One and there is no other than he.’
And ‘to love him with all your heart,
with all your understanding,
with all your strength,
and to love your neighbor as yourself’
is worth more than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.”
And when Jesus saw that he answered with understanding,
he said to him,
“You are not far from the kingdom of God.” 
And no one dared to ask him any more questions.

The Gospel of the Lord.

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Before celebrating a wedding, I always ask the engaged couple: “What is love?”

“If the two of you are preparing to love one another for the rest of your lives, then what is it? How would you define love?”

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Often their reactions are similar. It’s something like, “Sigh…. Umm…That’s a toughie.” Then they turn to each other with that look of, “You first!”

Love is something every human being desires to give and receive, but how do you define it?

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Some brides have said to me, “Love is a feeling of being complete.”

“Love is creating a safe space for each other to learn, to grow, and to make mistakes.”

Meanwhile, many grooms have quoted Owen Wilson in Wedding Crashers, “True love is your soul’s recognition of its counterpoint in another.”

It’s a romantic definition that sounds nice and gets them off of the hook!

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I think the best definition of love comes from William Shakespeare’s famous play, Romeo and Juliet.

One summer evening, as a young Juliet gazes down upon Romeo from her balcony, she says, “Romeo, the more I give to you, the more I seem to have.”

The more I give…the more I have.

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On the surface, Juliet seems to have everything a young girl could want: a healthy family, a palace to live in, and the blue blood of royalty running through her veins.

But without Romeo, she has nothing. 

As Saint Paul says:

“If I speak in human and angelic tongues, but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal…If I have all faith so as to move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”

It’s a scary truth to accept, but the more we give, the more we have. And, conversely, the less we give of ourselves, the less we have.

This is why, the Gospel tells us today, love is the fulfillment of religion.

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I believe God has written this truth – the more we give, the more we have – into all of creation. Everything in this world is designed to give itself away.

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For example, if you wander behind this church into our backyard, what do you see? 

The sun does not shine on itself; it gives its light away, brightening and warming the earth. 

Trees do not eat their own fruit; they offer it for the nourishment of others. Meanwhile, their branches reach for the heavens while growing leaves, offering others shade from the noonday heat.

Rivers do not drink their own water. Flowers release their fragrance, even after their plucked.

Creation is meant to give itself away.

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You and I are no different.

The more we give, the more we have.

So, how do I give myself away? Think about this in the context of marriage, parenting, faith, friendship, or ministry.

How do we offer ourselves to others?

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It’s the newlywed who carries his bride’s Amazon packages up three flights of stairs.

It’s the wife, who after fifty years of marriage, cares for her husband, who can no longer care for himself.

It’s the young mother who shows up at 7 am on a Monday morning to cook Bolognese in the soup kitchen for people she’ll never meet.

It’s the person standing in front of you or behind you, who promised to pray for you at the beginning of this Mass.

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Before celebrating a wedding, I always ask couples one question: “What is love?”

It can be hard to define – and, sometimes, even harder to live. But the more we give ourselves away – in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health – the happier we become.

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Image credits: (1) What is Love?, Slide Share (2) Deseret News (3) (4) Ignatian Solidarity Network