“I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” (A Sunday Meditation)

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Many of us remember Billy Graham, the most popular Protestant preacher of the 20th century.

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He once shared a story about his wife, Ruth, who was driving through miles of construction on a highway. After carefully following the detours and warning signs, she finally came to the final sign that read: 

“End of construction. Thank you for your patience.”

Struck by the message, Ruth went home chuckling, telling Billy that she wanted that line engraved on her tombstone.

And it was. 

Ruth Graham. 1920 – 2007. “End of construction. Thank you for your patience.”

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In our journeys through life, we will all have our share of highs and lows, detours and bumps in the road. 

Like Ruth Graham, aren’t we all “under construction,” works in progress from beginning to end?

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Consider, for example, the life of Zacchaeus in today’s Gospel, the most hated man in town. 

He’s the chief tax collector, who’s made a living off of squeezing pennies from the penniless.

Zacchaeus is ambitious, powerful, and greedy. But he’s also “desperate,” as the Gospel tells us, “desperate” to see Jesus.

Zacchaeus is a man with competing desires. After years of living high on the hog, he remains unfulfilled.

His work has forced him into social isolation. Though he appears strong and powerful to the outside world – as so many of us do – he’s starving for life’s intangibles – love, intimacy, and friendship.

Things he longs to share, above all else, with God.

As the French philosopher Blaise Paschal once wrote, “In every person’s heart is an empty space that has the shape of God…and nothing else can fill it.”

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Nothing else can fill it.

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No degree, no position, and ultimately, no person can fill that empty chamber within. Our hearts remain restless until they rest in God.

As Bono, the lead singer of U2, famously sang, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”

Similarly, how many of us are searching? 

We have so much to be grateful for – great friends, a successful career, a beautiful home, a fruitful ministry, yet we’re still restless within.

Something is missing. We still haven’t found what we’re looking for.

Zacchaues felt something was missing, too.

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It was that desire – the desire for something more – that drove him up the sycamore tree. 

And look how Jesus responds. “Zacchaues, come down from there. I must stay with you today.” That is, “Come here. Come closer.” Jesus reels Zacchaeus in like a fish hooked on a fishing line.

Instantly, Zacchaeus is changed. He’s found what’s he’s looking for.

He’s had an encounter with the divine. 

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It doesn’t mean that he’s a finished product. There’s still much for him to do. Zacchaues must make amends, repay those whom he’s wronged, and seek their forgiveness. 

Such is the path of discipleship; often we must start anew. Like Ruth Graham and each of us, Zacchaues is a work in progress. 

But at least he’s on the right path.

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Like Zacchaeus, are we “desperate” to see Jesus, to have an encounter with the divine? 

Or are we trying to ignore the existence of that inner chamber, perhaps stuffing it with other people or things?

Doing so will ultimately never work; it leaves us unsatisfied.

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Here’s a note of encouragement: The Gospel tells us that salvation came – not only to Zacchaeus – but also to his household. 

Faith rippled out from the inner chamber of his own heart, changing his entire family, reminding us that once Jesus has an opening, all things are possible.

The faith that you and I are nurturing here at Mass does make a difference, not only in our own lives, but also in the lives of those around us, even if we can’t see it yet.

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May the hunger of Zacchaeus, the same hunger found within each of us, drive us ever closer to the God we seek, for our hearts will remain restless until they rest in him.