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There’s always a cost to starting something new. Whether you’re entering college, starting a new job, or getting married, everything in life comes at a cost.
In my case, I love to golf.
But it’s a hobby that’s come at a price. Before you can play, you need the right clothes, clubs, a few lessons… and, most importantly, lots of patience.
Ask anyone who’s played the game, you can have the best putt of your life on one hole, and watch your ball fly into the water the next.
Golf is fun – but it’s costly, and at times, incredibly humbling.
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In the Gospel, Jesus urges us to consider the cost of following him.
Like learning how to play golf, he lays out the expectations: we must “hate” our family, renounce all of our possessions, and take up our cross and follow him.
Taken at face value, that’s not difficult.
It’s impossible.
But we must clarify what he means.
Allow me to explore just the first of these three commands, as it’s probably the most difficult to understand.
“If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life,” Jesus says, “he cannot be my disciple.”
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In its original context, the verb “to hate” meant valuing one thing over another. Thus, Jesus wants to be at the very center of our lives.
The earliest Christians felt the weight of this command, as many were disowned by their families – or even killed – for choosing to follow Jesus.
It’s a position some Christians are still put in today.
A Turkish friend of mine, for example, married a serious Catholic – and has since come to believe. But her parents have made it clear: if she converts to Christianity, they’ll disown her.
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While most of us don’t have to face such a harsh decision, our faith can still create tension in our families.
How many of us, for example, have teenage children or grandchildren who refuse to go to church?
Or how many have watched their children drift from the faith in college, marry outside of the Church, and even dabble in other faiths or spiritualities?
Even some marriages are divided along faith lines. One spouse may go to church while the other never does.
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That’s painful – as so many of us understand.
Yet faith digs into us. It moves us. It creates a sacred space in our hearts where we wrestle with truth, with life, with God.
By our very nature, we want to share that experience with others, but we can only do so if the other person also believes.
As a result, faith can become like politics – it’s a topic we don’t bring up at home because we’d rather keep the peace.
How do we reconcile this burden of belief? Or, better said, how do we express our faith at home and elsewhere without burning bridges?
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Follow the example of Jesus.
He never imposed himself. He welcomed everyone, allowed them to question, and served them regardless.
Though he didn’t change every heart, Jesus convinced many to follow him because they recognized how much he loved them.
That’s key.
The best way to share our faith is simply to love one another – regardless of another person’s religion or lack thereof.
As Pope Francis said recently, people won’t follow “Christian parrots,” those who talk about the faith, but don’t live it.
Rather, people are looking for witnesses, those who’ve experienced the love of God and share that love freely with others.
Each of us is here today because we’ve had some experience of that love. But how can we best share Christ’s love with others?
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Perhaps it means becoming less judgmental, more welcoming or patient. Anything but a “Christian parrot.”
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Learning how to play golf is tough and expensive.
But following the example of Christ is even harder. If we do, however, we can be the salt of the earth, a light to the nations, even in our very own homes.