When was the last time you had a family argument, whether it was with your spouse, your children, your brother or sister?
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Perhaps some of us even had an argument on the way to church today!
“Mom, he’s wearing my shirt again!” … “Stop hitting your brother!” … “Gimme that! Those are my bows!” … “It’s my turn to sit in the front seat!” … “Mom, I don’t want to go to church today!” … “Stop whining! Everybody in the car!”
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Siblings and spouses are amazing, aren’t they? They can make us laugh, cry, angry, and joyful…all in a day.
Let’s face it: No family is perfect.
Every family has its share of arguments – of harsh words exchanged at the dinner table, sibling tussles, days of the silent treatment… and even the occasional plate flying across the kitchen!
To some extent that’s natural. We’re all imperfect. We make mistakes. And that makes it hard to live underneath the same roof – and in some cases, the same room.
But when these arguments happen – as they inevitably will – we must be careful not to let them tear us apart.
Otherwise the anger turns into silence… the silence turns into grudges… grudges turn into distance… and distance fades into absence.
As Jesus says in the Gospels, “A house divided amongst itself will fall.”
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Is my house divided?
If so, what can our readings teach us about problem solving?
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Just as families have their share of arguments, so does the Church.
In our first reading we hear about the very first argument the Church ever had. Like a great sibling rivalry, there were two opposing sides: the Gentiles versus the Jews.
Unlike us, they weren’t arguing over bills to be paid, whose hair bow belongs to whom, or who sits in the front seat of the car on the way to church.
They were arguing over how a person is saved.
I can’t imagine anything more important than that.
The Jews believed that everyone had to follow the laws given to us in the Old Testament, as well as the teachings of Jesus.
The Gentiles, on the other hand, believed that following the teachings of Jesus was enough.
Unsure of who was right, they came together, shared their beliefs, and prayed for guidance.
While their differences seem strange to us today, they teach us a very important lesson about family life: Whenever we argue, we cannot stop talking to each other.
The silent treatment never works.
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Rather, we must hold hands and pray.
As Jesus says, “Wherever two or three are gathered in my name, I am there in the midst of them.” The same Jesus who came to the aid of the Apostles comes to our aid when we seek him.
It may be a slow process, but inviting the Lord into our struggles brings us wisdom, empathy, and healing.
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Perhaps a final bit of advice. Pope Francis says the three most important phrases we can say to each other are:
“Thank you.” … “I love you.”… and, “I’m sorry.”
Let’s repeat those together.
If a conflict arises in our homes this week, perhaps we can be the first to say one of these phrases – then get on our knees and pray, “Come, Lord Jesus.”