Fr Kevin Kilgore

***

Felicity Huffman.

Hard to believe the former “Desperate Housewives” star was just released from prison after pleading guilty to participating in the college admissions scandal.

And Lori Laughlin is next. The lady we once knew as Aunt Becky on “Full House” is facing years behind bars.

It was pay to play. Wealthy parents bribed university officials to admit their children into the nation’s top universities.

The lower part of ourselves relishes in the downfall of the rich and famous, people who bend the rules or break the law for their own benefit.

Think of OJ Simpson, Harvey Weinstein, Jeffrey Epstein, and Felicity Huffman. 

What scum!

***

But to agree to such a statement means we’ve fallen into the trap in today’s Gospel – judging others for their sins without realizing our own.

If, for example, our mistakes were televised on the nightly news – aired before millions of judgmental eyes – how would we feel?

It must be humiliating.

***

Lesson number one: stop judging lest we be judged. As Saint Paul says, “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

Even the Pharisee in today’s Gospel, who walks into the temple offering God a personal piety report.

“Thank God I’m not like that tax collector…I pray! I tithe! I fast!” he says. In other words, “I’m so much better than he is!”

This guy doesn’t pray at all. Rather, he leaves the temple the way he entered it: blind and arrogant.

Unchanged.

Though it’s easy to criticize him, how often have we had a similar experience? We come to Mass or pray in private, but leave the way we came.

Unchanged.

It’s impossible to have an experience of God’s mercy if we do not know our own sins, meaning it’s possible to live a type of Christianity that never changes us.

It only scratches the surface, while leaving us broken within. 

***

Perhaps what we’re in need of – I certainly am – is to model the behavior of the tax collector, who says to God simply, “Have mercy on me a sinner.”  

People hate the word “sinner” today.

It’s often used in a derogatory way towards other people like Harvey Weinstein and Felicity Huffman, or at best in a joking manner towards ourselves. 

People have said to me, for example, “Father, I can’t go to church. The roof would collapse! I’m a sinner!” 

But that’s precisely why I go. I come here looking to be changed. I come looking for God.

What about you?

***

In fact, Jesus insists upon us seeing ourselves this way, as sinners; as a beautiful mess made in the image and likeness of God, but broken within.

Only then can the Lord make us whole.

I suppose the alternative is to see ourselves as a finished product, packaged and ready to go, ready to stand before the judgment seat of God.

Not me.

The more I see my own weaknesses, the harder it becomes to judge those around me, even Felicity Huffman. I need the Lord no less than the next.

A healthy level of self-awareness – not self-hatred – breaks that “us versus them” mentality of the Pharisee, who thought he was better than other people because he followed a few simple rules. 

***

Two men entered the temple that day to pray. One gave God a personal piety report.  

The other made a cleansing confession.

God heard both men speak. But only one life was changed. 

Which one will we be?

***

In his book, The Road to Character, David Brooks makes a distinction between résumé virtues and eulogy virtues. 

Résumé virtues are those things that define our lives externally – our test scores, the college we attended, the company we work for, our title.

Eulogy virtues, on the other hand, speak to our character – how kind, faithful, forgiving, and generous we have been.

This is what people remember at the end of our lives – how we’ve treated them.

This man in the Gospel dies condemned and alone because he only valued his résumé virtues – he valued his wealth –  whereas Jesus urges us to consider how well we’ve treated one another.

***

What are my résumé virtues? And, more importantly, what are my eulogy virtues?

What do I want people to say about me looking back over my life?

***

“Be rich in what matters to God,” Jesus says.

Namely, be rich in love, because people will not remember how wealthy you were; they’ll remember how well you treated them.

***

Suffering can bring out the best in us.

Think about how united our nation seemed after the horrific tragedy of 9/11. 

Or consider how so many in the Bahamas responded to Hurricane Dorian. Neighbors risked their lives looking for survivors; people rationed their food and water to ensure others could live another day.

It’s a strange truth, but often enough when we suffer together the best in us comes out. There’s always strength in numbers.

***

Consider what happens to the Israelites in our first reading. 

They’re being attacked by a foreign army – a terrifying sight. But instead of retreating, they band together.

Imagine these otherwise ordinary fathers and sons marching into battle, adrenaline pumping through their veins, swords raised high, shouting chants of valor.

They know they’re outnumbered, but they’re not afraid. Off in the distance is the prophet Moses, standing high upon a hill, his hands wrapped around his staff, his arms raised in prayer.

Every time Moses raises his staff, Israel advances forward. 

But whenever he lowers it they begin to lose. This staff, which Moses calls the “staff of God,” gives Israel the strength they need to win.

But Moses begins to tire. Though Israel is depending upon him, he simply cannot keep his arms raised for the duration of the battle.

He’s not only tired from aging and frequent fighting; he’s also tired from battling the infidelity of his own people. Time and again Israel puts Moses to the test.

***

Maybe some of us have felt like Moses.

***

We find ourselves in the midst of a battle, some personal challenge that has worn us down. Though our hands were once raised high in prayer, it’s difficult to endure.

We’ve become weary.

Maybe we’ve tried repeatedly to forgive someone, to grow in patience, to become sober, to stay healthy, to stay in a marriage. 

Though we once raised our hands high in prayer like Moses, our arms have begun to drop. 

***

Enter the second half of the story. 

***

Realizing that Moses is weary, Aaron and Hur come to his aid. They bring him a rock to sit upon and hold his arms up high for him until the battle is won.

***

Herein lies the lesson for us.

***

We’re not meant to endure our challenges in life alone. Just as Israel was unfairly attacked, often enough bad luck or unfortunate circumstances cross our path.

Think of the thousands of families affected by 9/11 or those reeling in the Bahamas.

Even locally, there are 900,000 people in New Jersey who are “food insecure.” 

As Pat Braun mentioned to our parish in the announcements last weekend, there are thousands of people around us – all within 10 miles of here – in need of a helping hand.

As their brothers and sisters in Christ, we have the opportunity to hold their arms up, so to speak, to lift their burdens through organizations like SOS, our parish outreach program. 

On an even more personal level, there may be some present here at Mass in need of our support, someone to hold their arms up in prayer while enduring a particular trial.

***

Who has helped me in my hour of need?

And with a grateful heart, how might I help another person, whether it’s someone in my family, a friend, or someone I encounter through SOS?

***

Picture a weary Moses being supported by Aaron and Hur. They stay with him until the battle is won. Victory was a team effort.

In a similar way, we must band together. No matter how big or small our burdens may be, we can lift almost any burden together; there’s always strength in numbers.